Song Book
by GWingAngel
Summary: Hey YOU! Yeah you. i know you love song fics! and lucky for you i have a collection of them! and if u want i could create a song fic using the song of ur choice. c'mon u know u want to click this...
1. Gone

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own Gundam Wing. And I don't own *Nsync's song, 'Gone'.  
  
Author: GWingAngel  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Warnings: hints of Shonen Ai  
  
Gwing: this is Relena thinking about the day Heero left her  
  
(lyrics)  
  
Song Book 1 Gone  
  
  
  
(There's thousand words that I could say to make you come home, yeah. Seems so long ago you walked away and left me alone. And I remember what you said to me, you were acting so strange. And maybe I was too blind to see that you needed a change.)  
  
Relena looked back into her memory.  
  
"A mission?," she asked the dark haired boy. Wrapping her arms around him. He shrugged her off and looked into her blue eyes. He shook his head and turned back to his packing.  
  
"I'm leaving Relena."  
  
"But why?"  
  
"I don't belong here any more. I was just here to protect you, now it's time for me to live my own life."  
  
(Was it something I said to make you turn away. To make you walk out and leave me cold. If I could just find a way to made it so that you were right here, right now.)  
  
"But you have a life here," Relena retorted. "What's out in the world that you don't have here?"  
  
"Duo." Relena's eyes widened. Another man. Heero was leaving the blonde beauty +gag+ for another man.  
  
"You can't or I'll or I'll. Or I'll tell everyone that you were a Gundam pilot!"  
  
Heero closed his bag and gave her a smirk. "Aren't we being a little childish. Besides, I don't care what you do anymore."  
  
(I've been sitting here. Can't get you off my mind. I'm tryin' my best to be a man and be strong. I drove myself insane wishing I could touch your face. But the truth remains, you're Gone.)  
  
She touched Heero's stone face lightly then turned down the picture. "I've got to be strong," she said to herself. She got up from her seat, turned off the lights and headed for the garage.  
  
(Now I don't wanna make excuses, baby. Won't change the fact that you're gone. But if there's something that I could do, won't you please let me know. The time is passing so slowly now, guess that's my life without you. And maybe I could change my everyday, but baby I don't want to.)  
  
Pagan drove the pink limousine as usual. She sat at the edge of the seat. "Please Heero. Isn't there anything?," she pleaded. He shook his head. She stared out the window and everything seemed so slow. She started to say to him that she would change her life, but then took it back. 'I have accepted this life. I won't run away from it.'  
  
(So I'll just hang around and find something's to do. To take my mind off missing you. And I know in my heart, you can't say don't me too. Please say you do, yeah.)  
  
"Excuse my prying Ms. Relena," Pagan started.  
  
"Don't worry Pagan. Go ahead," Relena smiled.  
  
"Well Ms. Relena, everybody is worried that you're working too hard. Ever since Heero left you've been indulging in your work."  
  
"Don't worry Pagan, I can take care." Pagan nodded from the front seat and closed the window. Relena let go of the breath that she was holding.  
  
"You must have loved me once, Heero," Relena whispered.  
  
(I've been sitting here. Can't get you off my mind. I'm tryin' my best to be a man and be strong. I've drove myself insane wishing I could touch your face. But the truth remains, you're Gone.)  
  
Relena flipped the remark in her mind. 'I just needed something to do Pagan. After Heero left...' She shook her head and looked out the window. Relena touched the window. Heero was on the other side. Relena shook her head again and stared at the closed black screen that separated her and Pagan. 'I have to be strong.'  
  
(What will I do if I can't be with you? Tell me where will I turn to, baby who will I be. Now that we are apart, am I still in your heart? Baby why can't you see that I need you here with me?)  
  
A month with out being with Heero. She looked at her full length mirror in her bedroom. Nothing was wrong with her. 'Then again he's into guys. Anyway, I've been doing alright with out him.' Relena turned her back to the mirror. "Oh Heero. Maybe we could have just been friends. Do you even remember me? Oh Heero. I'm kidding myself. I've always needed you."  
  
(I've been sitting here. Can't get you off my mind. I'm tryin' my best to be a man and be strong. I've drove myself insane wishing I could touch your face. But the truth remains, you're Gone.)  
  
Relena sat at the edge of her bed looking at another picture of Heero. He was in her mind was again. 'I must be strong. This is going to make me stronger in the bigger picture. She touched Heero's face again then shook her head. She set Heero's picture face down on the small table near her bed. "I've got to accept you're gone Heero." She turned off the lights and cried in the dark. 


	2. Pushing Me Away

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or the song from Linkin Park called, 'Pushing Me Away'  
  
Author: GWingAngel  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Warnings: Yaoi  
  
Gwing: this is Heero thinking back on his and Relena's used to be relationship. It's a great ending for 1x2 fans.  
  
(lyrics)  
  
  
  
Song Book 2 Pushing Me Away  
  
(I've lied/To you The same way that I always do. This is/The last smile. That I'll fake for the sake of being with you.)  
  
Heero laid in Duo's sleeping arms and smiled his first real smile. He looked down at Duo and started to remember about the month before.  
  
Heero started packing his bags. 'I'll finally be happy. Have another purpose. I won't have to act for Relena's sake anymore.'  
  
"A mission?" Relena asked wrapping her arms around Heero. Heero shrugged her off him and looked briefly into her eyes. Then started packing again.  
  
([Everything falls apart/Even the people who never frown actually break down] The sacrifice of hiding in a lie. [Everything has to end/You'll soon find we're out of time left to watch it all unwind] The sacrifice is never knowing.)  
  
  
  
"I'm leaving Relena," Heero finally said smiling inwardly.  
  
"But why?"  
  
"I don't belong here any more. I was just here to protect you. Now it's time for me to live my own life."  
  
"But you have a life here," Relena frowned. "What's out in the world that you don't have here?"  
  
"Duo." Heero watched as Relena's eyes were bulging out of her eyes.  
  
(Why I never walked away. Why I played myself this way. Now I see your testing me pushes me away.)  
  
"You can't," Relena blurted. "Or I'll or I'll. Or I'll tell everyone that you were a Gundam pilot." Heero closed his bag and gave her a small smirk.  
  
"Aren't we being a little childish. Besides, I don't care anymore." With that Heero left the mansion.  
  
'I'm free.'  
  
(I've tried/Like you To do everything you wanted to. This is the last time. I'll take the blame for the sake of being with you.)  
  
"Heero?" Duo sleeping asked. "What's the matter?"  
  
"Thinking."  
  
"About what?"  
  
"About how I did everything for Relena just to have a purpose in life. But that was a long time ago."  
  
(Why I never walked away. Why I played this way. Now I see your testing me pushes me away.)  
  
"Sometimes I scolded myself for being so weak against a girl. I guess I'll never know why I never just simply walked away. Maybe it was her obnoxious-ness." Heero shrugged then looked down at the long haired beauty. "Ashiteru Duo." Heero sleepily said.  
  
Duo yawned. "That was a long time ago," Duo repeated. "I love you too, Heero." 


	3. i feel so

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or the song from Box Car Racer named 'I Feel So'  
  
Author: GWingAngel  
  
Rating: uh.PG?  
  
Warnings: Shonen Ai, Heero OOC?  
  
Gwing: this is mostly just Heero thinking so there's none of Duo's thoughts but it's not Heero's POV  
  
(lyrics)  
  
  
  
Song Book 3 I Feel So  
  
  
  
(Sometimes, I wish I was brave, I wish I was stronger, wish I could feel no pain.)  
  
Heero watched Duo sleep and heard the song that was playing on Duo's stupid CD player. A smirk appeared on Heero's face. He liked Duo. With all his heart, but he didn't know if he was strong enough for Duo's rejection. He could handle anything physically thrown at him, but when something uncertain happened in heart he became broken.  
  
Why did they care if he lived or died? He was just alive for missions. Wasn't he?  
  
(Wish I was young, wish I was shy, I wish I was honest, wish I was you not I.)  
  
They were having a conversation. Well, Duo was just talking while Heero zoned in and out of his musings. What was Duo talking about with his never ending energy? Something about wanting real home cooked food and waiting until the stupid war was over.  
  
Home cooked food? Heero's home cooked food was usually any sort of microwave-able things. A home cooked meal was actually starting to sound good.  
  
"Have you ever had one Heero?"  
  
Heero looked up to see Duo smiling happily at him while waiting for some kind of motion.  
  
"No, I'd like one."  
  
Duo's eyes widened at the answer. "Wow you've never had a home cooked meal? The food at the orphanage was great! Everybody enjoyed Helen's home cooked meals!"  
  
Everybody. Other kids. Were they kids anymore?  
  
Duo took another bite of his microwaved meal and made a face.  
  
"This stuff is so bad. I really need to get away from this crap."  
  
Duo was so honest and could never shut up but did seem to know when to stop. But why did Heero care? Why did he care that Duo seemed happier? Something inside Heero stirred. It was an unknown feeling of.of jealousy? Jealousy for Duo's persona?  
  
(Cause I feel so mad, I feel so angry, feel so callused, so lost confused again.)  
  
"Shut up Duo, I'm trying to work!" Heero yelled. Duo stopped and stood still for a moment before silently nodding, Duo walked over to his bed and turned on his Pre-colony music. Heero heard it again. Angry words going through Duo's ears because of Heero.  
  
Heero shook his head. He felt sorry for breaking Duo's happiness. But why did he care? Stupid baka was always talking and being himself.  
  
That stupid jealousy arose in him. What was happening?  
  
(Feel so cheap, so used unfaithful, let's start ever, let's start over.)  
  
  
  
Something inside Heero felt wrong whenever he saw Duo sad. It wasn't right to see those bright eyes suddenly dull because of words.  
  
A week later Heero was typing out a report inside his bedroom. Duo skipped into Heero's room with a huge smile on his face.  
  
"What do you want baka?"  
  
"Awe come on Hee-chan," Duo started glomping Heero. Heero struggled underneath him. "You cooked that for me didn't you?"  
  
"Hn."  
  
Duo jumped up and shrugged. "Fine Heero, I'm going to eat the mysterious dinner. Wanna join me?"  
  
"Hn."  
  
Duo shrugged again and left the room. "Thanks Heero!"  
  
Can't I be like you?  
  
(Sometimes, I wish I was smart, I wish I made cures for the way people are, I wish I had power, I wish I could lead, I wish I could change the world for you and me.)  
  
Heero and Duo arrived at their apartment after a mission to the L2 colony. Duo's home colony.  
  
Duo was unusually quiet. Heero took it as a blessing, but then he started to get worried. Heero had to admit the colony was worst off than the last time he saw it.  
  
That night Heero awoke suddenly. He heard murmuring and was ready to shoot someone, but saw it was Duo stirring. Heero walked over and was ready to shake Duo awake, but.  
  
"Helen."  
  
Heero stopped and waited. "No Solo."  
  
"Let go. don't."  
  
Duo was thrashing about and shrank into his mattress.  
  
What was happening in Duo's head? What internal struggle could such a bright creature have?  
  
Heero shook him awake. Duo grabbed his wrist and almost crushed it to breaking but Duo blinked and noticed Heero. Duo looked down at his hand and quickly released it.  
  
"Oh Heero," Duo said wiping his eyes.  
  
"You were having a nightmare," Heero answered flatly.  
  
"Yeah," Duo murmured. Duo rubbed his arms. "I'm going to take a shower."  
  
Heero watched as Duo walked into the bathroom. Something happened in Duo's past that made him uncomfortable. He had an idea what it was, but he didn't want to think of it.  
  
Heero shook his head. He suddenly wished he could have protected the orphan, but now all he could do was try to change the way the colonies and earth were. It was kind of late for Duo, but they were all trying to change the world for some reason.  
  
(Cause I feel so mad, I feel so angry, feel so callused, so lost confused again, feel so cheap so used unfaithful, let's start over, let's start over.)  
  
Duo was talking so much about this girl. Her name was Hilde. Did that mean that he liked girls not guys? Was Heero thinking something forbidden about the boy who slept in the same room?  
  
It was eating away at Heero. He was told to follow his feelings and all his feelings were screaming out Maxwell. Heero growled and tried to concentrate on the computer screen, but he kept glancing back at the sleeping boy. Heero closed his eyes and before he knew it he was kneeling next to Duo's bed and shaking him awake. Duo blinked his eyes sleepily open and stared into Heero's cobalt eyes.  
  
"A mission?" he asked sleepily.  
  
"Do you like Hilde?" Heero blurted out. Duo blinked and sat up.  
  
"Uh, yeah. She's a great friend Heero."  
  
Heero nodded, but stayed still.  
  
"But if you're asking if I'm in love with her then it's no."  
  
Something inside of Heero was released. It wasn't a breath but anxiety. He knew the truth.  
  
Heero turned away.  
  
"Wait a sec!" Duo exclaimed. "You woke me up in the middle of the night to ask me about Hilde?" Heero turned back to Duo with a shrug. Duo stood up and shook his head. "No way! There has to be something else. Its," Duo paused and looked at his watch, "it's midnight and you asked me such a trivial question. There has to be something else."  
  
"I like you," Heero said immediately after.  
  
"It's midnight and." Duo paused and blinked and stared at Heero. "What?"  
  
"You heard me," Heero whispered and turned to his computer. Duo blinked and sat back down on his bed again. Heero turned to his computer.  
  
Was the end for them? Duo was going to reject him. He had to do something quick, but what? Act like it didn't matter? Be angry? Turn away? Do something! A thought a nanosecond rushed through his head he couldn't think. He stared blankly at the screen.  
  
Suddenly to arms slowly wrapped themselves around Heero's shoulders and neck. Heero was alarmed by the gesture, but slowly realized it was Duo. He instantly melted.  
  
"Hilde's just a great friend Heero," Duo purred into Heero's ear, "But I love people with great blue yes and great brown hair." Duo kissed the top of Heero's head before turning back to his bed. Heero was frozen in the moment and didn't notice.  
  
"Goodnight Hee-chan," Duo yawned going back to sleep.  
  
Heero continued sitting there until he finally blinked. The warmth was gone and Duo was in dreamland. Heero turned to Duo, stripped down to his boxers and cuddled next to Duo.  
  
  
  
(Cause I feel so mad, I feel so angry, feel so callused, so lost confused again, feel so cheap so used unfaithful, let's start over, let's start over.) 


	4. with you

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or 'With You', by Linkin Park  
  
Author: GWingAngel  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Warnings: shonen ai, kissing, some language, bit of violence, and some blood  
  
Gwing: uh this is Duo's POV on an incident  
  
(lyrics)  
  
Song Book 4 With You  
  
  
  
(I woke up in a dream today To the cold of the static/And put my cold feet on the floor Forgot about yesterday Remembering I'm pretending to be who I'm not anymore A little taste of hypocrisy And I'm left in the wake of the mistake/Slow to react Even though you're so close to me, You're still so distant/And I can't bring you back)  
  
I slowly wake up taking in everything around me. Gray walls surround me and a cold bed is underneath me. What the hell happened last night? It all seems like a huge blur. I curl up in the bed and pull the thin blanket over me. I want to forget. I look at the sheet I'm clutching. There's some dried blood on it. I sit up and look at the blood. Why did we fight? Was it because of what I said? Was I was too open to the perfect soldier? I guess I couldn't lie to myself anymore. I couldn't be myself anymore.  
  
(It's true/The way I feel Was promised by you face The sound of your voice Painted on my memories Even if you're not with me I'm with you)  
  
We were sitting in my bedroom of this safe house. The same room I'm sitting in now. You were typing at the computer that just happened to be in my bedroom. I watched your reflection on the computer screen. You were thinking and I was looking. Your face was relaxed and there were emotions playing on your face. Being the stupid being I am, I interrupted the moment.  
  
"So Heero what are you doing?" I watched as you face turned rigid again, but your eyes still showed feeling. You tried to glare at me from your reflection. I smiled at you, acting like myself.  
  
"Why do you care?" you asked in monotone. I shrugged my shoulders.  
  
"We might as well do something since we'll be stuck here for a while." You sighed and turned your chair around.  
  
"What's the matter Duo?" I looked at him with surprise.  
  
"What?"  
  
"There's something with you. You're not acting normal. You were quiet while I was on the computer and now you're asking stupid questions. What's the matter?"  
  
You passed your one sentence quota. But that line didn't cross my mind. I just looked surprised at you.  
  
"I don't know. Besides you wouldn't care." That I liked you ever since I saw you fly away from Howard's ship. That was playing in my mind. I wouldn't tell you that I was gay. Why would the perfect soldier have feelings?  
  
"Try me," he simply said. I shook my head, but you glared at me with your gorgeous blue eyes. Sighing I started.  
  
"I'm pretending to be who I'm not anymore. Everybody only knows me as the joker of the group. And I still am, but I can't always be. I have my serious moments and nobody takes them seriously. " You kept looking at me with understanding deep with in your eyes. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm not joking when I say this. I...I...I think I'm in love with you Heero."  
  
(You/Now I see/Keeping everything inside You/Now I see/Even when I close my eyes)  
  
You continue to stare at me. Your eyes showing a flurry of emotions. In my heart is hope and dread. On your face was nothing. I start to get impatient.  
  
"Damn it Heero answer me," I say quietly but demanding. I look up at you. Nothing. "If your not going to answer me then think of it as a joke. Think of it as I never even spoke to you and that I'll always be who I'm not." I start to get up, but you grab my hand. I turn to look at you. "Are you going to answer me?"  
  
He nodded and put his forehead to mine. "Omae o korusu Duo."  
  
(I hit you and you hit me back. We fall to the floor/The rest of the day stands still Fine line between this and that When things go wrong I pretend that the past isn't' real.)  
  
I stare blankly at you. "You always say you're going to kill. And when has it happened? I'm waiting and I always will be. I hate you Heero!" I scream at him and punch you in the face. Almost a year of anger went into that punch. Anger from hiding from myself and anger from you not caring about anybody but yourself. "I thought you would care."  
  
You punched me in the face too. At the same time I felt blood trickling down my chin I saw your blood go down yours. The blood goes down our throats and falls to the floor. Time stood still. An angry and startled look on my face. Your face was unchanging, but your eyes looked a little startled.  
  
"I," you hesitated. The perfect soldier hesitated. "I don't feel the same way Duo." And you simply walked away.  
  
(Now I'm trapped in this memory And I'm left in the wake of the mistake/Slow to react So, even though you're so close to me You're still so distant/And can't bring you back)  
  
Back to reality I look at the bed sheet then at the dried puddle of blood on the floor. A small river connected the two. It would always be here for me to look at. To taunt me, so when I close my eyes all I can see is you. Why the hell did life have to be like this? You're in the next fuckin' room, but it feels like you're on that damn cold planet of Pluto. Damn you, Heero Yuy!  
  
(It's true/The way I feel Was promised by you face The sound of your voice Painted on my memories Even if you're not with me I'm with you)  
  
(You/Now I see/Keeping everything inside You/Now I see/Even when I close my eyes)  
  
I won't take back what I said to you. I kept telling myself this as I enter the kitchen. There you are, on your laptop. You were in my room, because the battery was dead on yours. Now it's fully recharged. You gave me a small glance then went back to your computer.  
  
I knew I shouldn't have told you. Why do you have to be so damn closed off? I don't know why I dream of you.  
  
I sit across from you with my sugar coated cereal. I start eating and remember last night again.  
  
"Duo?" I look up at you with a mouthful of cereal. "Did you mean what you said last night?" I look down at my cereal and swallow what's in my mouth. I push the soggy cereal around with my spoon.  
  
"How do you want to look at it? If you think I wasn't drunk, then I meant what I said. If you think that I was just being who I'm not, then no, I didn't mean it." Taking a spoonful of cereal I hope choke to death. I wish that this day was over.  
  
"I think that you were being yourself. The person that's beneath the joker." I look up in surprise and swallow the cereal. Damn, I didn't choke.  
  
"So what are you saying?" I ask.  
  
"I think I'm in love with you too." I look with saucer eyes at you. A big grin on my face. You lean over. Are you going to kiss me? Nope, you take a napkin and wipe milk off my chin. I pout and take another mouthful of cereal.  
  
"Are you going to answer me Duo?" I look up at you. Happiness playing in your eyes and your frown isn't as dark.  
  
"What's next?" Nice thing to say! You lean over again. I have milk on my chin again don't I? But this time your lips trap mine. At first I'm surprised, but then I close my eyes savoring the moment. Time has definitely stopped. And when it starts again this war will seem a hell of a lot friendlier.  
  
(No No matter how far we've come I can't wait to see tomorrow No No matter how far we've come I can't wait to see tomorrow With you) 


End file.
